Platypus Journey

Saturday, September 23, 2006

I believe I’m ready.

I’ve done some serious soul searching. I know some of the reasons I’ve been holding on to my armor of fat. At least, I think I know. A big thank-you to everyone here for helping me along this journey. I’ve read almost everything posted since October, and that is sure a lot! J Most of it has been very thought provoking for me. I hope I’ve been able to add to the quality of the board, and not just created a lot of useless noise! The before-and-after pix are such an inspiration, as is the NSV thread. The results y’all have shared amaze me and give me hope.

I need all the hope I can get. You see, I am still in the camp where I don’t quite believe that this band will actually help me. I have tried just about everything, but I only end up fatter than ever. I worry that it won’t work for me. I know that the band is only a tool, and not magic. I know I still have lots of hard work ahead of me.

I believe I’ve set a realistic goal for myself; I want to end up a pants size of 12, and end up around 170 pounds. So, that’s just shy of 100 pounds, and a full 10 sizes. My first NSV goal is to nicely fit into a desk at school, not feel like a sausage squeezed into the desk…

Food and exercise:

I’ve examined my relationship to food, and I’ve discovered why I HAVE to have a house full of food even if I never ever eat it. I know most of the foods that trigger a binge. I have learned a lot about some of the various eating disorders. I’m learning that even thin people think they are fat and are made miserable by that.

I’m practicing chewing everything to mush…. I even masticate in public! However, I’m a little worried about not drinking with meals though because I find some foods too dry to swallow without the added benefit of a sip of water.

Because I’m currently recovering from a severe asthma episode that lasted for several months, I’m slowly getting back to where I was physically. I actually took the stairs yesterday without even thinking about it! Sure I was winded when reached the next floor, but I was exhilarated at the same time. It sucks being limited to “as tolerated” especially when I am still not tolerating as much as I was before this episode started in November. But one of my goals is to get my black belt in Tae Kwon Do before I graduate, and I know what that work will require.

Aftercare:

All aftercare will be taken care of in Seattle, which is groovy with me because it means I can write off trips home. And any excuse to go home is a good one. Okay, well, almost any excuse…

Is there anything I’ve forgotten?

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