Weight as scapegoat 1/22/5

Off to an interesting start for 2005

Please forgive the length of this post, but I really need to vent. Since the first of the year, I’ve been admitted to the hospital twice. Not so good when you notice we are just now on day 7 into the New Year.

The official diagnosis is “reactive airway disease with restrictive ventilatory defect due to obesity.” The treatment: loose weight while taking massive doses of steroids.

I’m so tired of them not knowing what is wrong, so they use my weight as the scapegoat. “Because you are fat, we will say that is what is wrong. While we’ve never actually been able to prove that your extra weight is the cause of you not being able to breathe, we heard about another doctor that saw someone who couldn’t breathe because they were fat. And since you are fat, that must be why you can’t breathe. That, or you are just faking it. … If only you had the strength of will-power, you should loose weight. Oh, and those steroids, well, yes, you will probably gain another 20 pounds, but don’t worry; you just need to be stronger…. What? You say you are currently on 1500 calories? Well, that doesn’t make sense, you should be losing weight. Why don’t you try running and see if that helps you lose weight?

I got the flu for Thanksgiving, and have been sick since. I didn’t qualify for the flu shot in ID, since it was really scarce there. Not sure why they didn’t give me a flu shot while I was in the hospital.

I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of not being able to breathe. I’m tired of doctors scapegoating instead of finding the true cause. I've had adult onset of asthma for 20 years. I've been hospitalized for asthma more times than I can count. I'm currently on 3 different inhalers, 2 different nebulizer treatments, and a couple of different pills.

It is just something when your oxygen saturation is below 90%, and they question whether there is a problem