Freeking/Tweaking in the ER...

I haven't been around much, I've been in a deep Low. Deep Low. Had to go the the ER twice in as many days for the head aches, and spent most of the rest of the time asleep. I did lurk some, but it was easier to just sleep.

I still had my Picc in in from my 32 hour blood draws and my CSS, and Chris wanted me to go in Saturday to the DR and have them pull it, but instead I slept. I just figured that since I'd be seeing my doctor, she could just pull the line. No big deal. I could have pulled the line myslef, but I didn't have the stuff to disolve the adheasive. I just have such thin skin that pulling the bandage and tape will tear my skin. You know the drill... So I went to my doc's for my headache checkup. I needed refills for my narcotics. She only wanted to focus on the imitrex. I tried to focus her on my special brand of headaches. I think I finally, FINALLY got through to her. My special brand of headaches are steroid withdrawal headaches. At least that is the working theory according to Dr. L.

He tells me that my headaches will all go away will go away once away once my tumor goes away.

The thing is... when will the tumor go away...

So anyway, I go to my doc's to have my Picc line removed, but she sort of freadked out, went "icky" sent me to the hospital. I have no idea why docs do this. It's a simply matter of just removing the tape and just pulling the line. And pulling. And pulling.... and pulling. Then putting pressure. Not a big deal. ...

Sigh.

Dropped off my precriptions, and headed off to the hospital. the nusrse in the ER wasn't sure what to do with me, since folks don't normally come to the ER for this. So she consulted with another nurse who said that they didn't do that. More calm waiting until I asl the next nuse, in a good-naturedly way what I was supposed to do, since it needed it come out. She said that I needed to produce paper work from OHSU or something. She waundered off, and I start feeling off... I should have known that I was starting to tweek.

I called Chris. I was amazed that I got right through to her... By this time I'm in the teeth of the freeker/tweeker.... they thought I was psycotic, until they got the paperwork from OHSU, and spoke with Chris... I know they thought I was psycotic because they moved me to my very own darkend waiting room where I would be more comfortable by myself. It didn't help that I was flailing my hand and shaking my head and pacing and muttering.... alteraining by hugging my purse to my body tightly (it's a poodle purse) crying, muttering, rocking, and shaking my head... The soda machine wouldn't take my dollar bills and I NEEDED water. I get DI when I freak/tweek...

I called Mike when I was back in my private waiting room. He said it was the worst freeker/tweeker episode I've had.

Anyway, I finally got back to a room, and finally stopped tweeking. The ER doc came to see me while I was coming down and he was looking over all the paperwork and chart notes they faxed from OHSU. He made an interesting comment... "So, it looks like you are heading to surgery here in October"

I continued to come down, to the point of near passing out. I came home and slept for a good five hours.

Low all weekend. Swing high for a few hours, not even enough time to feel normal if you will, then I freak/tweek. It just isn't fair. I don't know if I'm back Low, or if I'm going to be back High in the morning. I have no idea any more.

I'm so tired of this.

Some one tell me they freak/tweek, just so I don't feel so alone....