I’m a wreck 3/7/05

Okay, my surgery is in a week. I’m a wreck, just a nervous wreck. I’m not sleeping, I’m pacing, and my asthma is threatening to flare. I’m trying to keep myself distracted, but it isn’t working. Night is worse for some reason. I’ve tried to focus on other thing, like tomorrow I start my horseback riding class, and Friday I go home (a temporary reprieve from my exile). I have a dark chocolate bar softly whispering my name oh so seductively. It is probably lonely. That same bar has been in my fridge since October, so I’m not really in any danger.

And I have a gi-normous math test on Thursday. You would think that would capture my attention, given my l33t m4th skills… (as if)

I wish I could be dancing like jubilant Jamie, dancing around her living room, shaking her booty. But I can’t. Instead I sit with tears. I’m not sure what I’m mourning.

Pre-op measurements 3/8/05
265 pounds, lots of edema.
54 bust
49 waist
52 hips
28 thighs
19.5 R calf (with edema)
18 L calf
11 L ankle
10 R ankles

16 L bicep
17.5 R bicep
7 ¼ L wrist
7 ½ R wrist
19 neck